


Monster

by Vault_Emblem



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Fights, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Punching, commission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 18:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20179069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vault_Emblem/pseuds/Vault_Emblem
Summary: How Dimitri deals with the fallout with his friends.But is everything truly lost?Is there really no hope for the Boar Prince?





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this hurt me in my feelies. Damn you Dimitri, you and your angst.
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr](bi-naesala.tumblr.com) and on [twitter](https://twitter.com/vault_emblem)

Dimitri isn't a fool; he knows well what he has become.

Felix is right: he is a complete monster.

No... he isn't a monster: he's gone way beyond that. "Monster" would be too little to describe him now.

He's the worst of the worst.

What hurts more is that, together with the dead, he's also losing all the people closest to him, the friends that have always been by his side.

Felix... he had lost him a long time ago already, but he was foolish enough to believe that he could've been able to mend their broken bond.

When they were mere children they were inseparable, to the point that the only way they could sleep was to share a bed. They would talk about everything, spending the great part of the night fantasizing about growing up and sticking together.

Dimitri doesn't remember when he started it, but after sneaking into the library to read the "forbidden book" – which was actually just a pretty standard romance novel, but he was young and naïve – whenever the moonlight would illuminate Felix's smile, he'd dream to emulate the knight in the story and sweep him off his feet and... oh the shame... to kiss him.

Now Felix doesn't even look at him and when he does, he all but sneers in his direction.

Boar... it might be a fitting appellative after all.

Ironically, as close as the two of them were, if wasn't _their_ fallout that hurt Dimitri the most.

Sylvain knew nothing of his nature. He was completely unaware despite Felix's words.

Despite his skirt chasing habits, Dimitri genuinely enjoyed his closeness; Sylvain has always been a big brother of sort for all of them, and Dimitri has always looked up to him with a mix of admiration and love.

He’ll never forget the horrified look he gave him when he saw his face twisted in pleasure at the smell of blood.

After the fight was over he reached out to him because he looked injured, but Sylvain winced away, closing his eyes and making himself smaller as if he was expecting Dimitri to strike him.

This is what made him realize how far he was gone; if not even his dear Sylvain could trust him, who could?

They still visit them, even in his self imposed isolation.

How many times has he hallucinated them? Countless by now.

He never sees them as their grown up versions, but always as little children.

The sound of their laughter as they chase each other still echoes through the empty halls of Garreg Mach and sometimes Dimitri spots a leg, a flash of hair, a happy gaze that never for a moment stops on him.

He feels like he’s intruding in these visions, a grim shadow that looms over the future of these once happy children.

Their voices are getting closer, and it’s overwhelming for Dimitri, who can only cover his ears and shake his head, pleading the ghosts to leave him alone, please.

He can’t take it anymore.

When they find him, Dimitri is an absolute wreck.

He can sense that even his allies still don’t fully trust him, and he simply accepts it without a word: it’s what he deserves after all.

It’s best if they don’t get too close to him; he doesn’t know if he’ll ever unleash the beast in their presence and he’d rather have them at a distance if it happens. Of course this doesn’t mean he wants to, but his nature is unpredictable and who knows when he’ll snap.

It happens sooner than he thinks.

At least Felix has the decency to wait until they’re alone, but he doesn’t waste any time throwing insults his way.

Dimitri knows – or maybe he should say used to know – Felix well, and he’s able to recognize the worry in his voice, which make him feel even more guilt. Felix knows what he is and yet he went looking for him, and he worried.

He doesn’t reply to his taunts, he just silently takes it all.

Apparently, that only serves to make Felix angrier to the point that he snaps as well.

The punch is fast, colliding with Dimitri’s face before he could say or do anything, and it’s strong, so much that Dimitri can already feel blood pouring down from his nostrils; he can smell it, he can taste it.

His mind goes completely blank and Dimitri lounges at Felix with a rage worthy of a monster.

He’ll make him pay for this.

When he comes to, his sight is hazy, as well as his hearing. He can only hear a loud whistle in his ears; it’s painful, it’s deafening.

Then he slowly regains consciousness, and he begins to hear a familiar voice yelling. It’s… it’s Sylvain.

“Felix! Felix are you all right?”.

He’s holding Felix by his arms, helping him stay on his feet. Felix looks destroyed, his face all bloody and eyes unfocused, but he didn’t go down without a fight judging by Dimitri’s state: his nose hurts and it could be broken, and maybe even his ribs are bruised.

“Dimitri… _what did you do?”_

Dimitri doesn’t respond, can’t respond. He only stares at the two, at his closest friends, and all he can feel is horror towards himself.

If Sylvain hadn’t been there… what would he have done to Felix? Would he… no, he doesn’t want to think about it; not even in his darkest dreams he ever laid hands on his friends.

What happened to him?

He runs away, ignoring Sylvain’s voice calling after him.

He doesn’t look back not even once.

He has no idea how much time passes – he’s too closed in himself to notice – when he hears an _oof_ close to him.

If he hadn’t recognized who this was, he would've drawn his weapon to slay the vermin who’s trying to disturb him, but he doesn’t say anything as Felix gracelessly slumps against him. He barely acknowledges him with a nod.

He peaks under his bangs to inspect him; his eye is swollen, but apart from that and a cut on his lower lip, he seems fine.

“Felix, I--”

“Don’t say anything”

Felix’s voice is softer than usual, and Dimitri hums affirmatively.

After a moment, he raises his cape, still looking at Felix. A clear invite.

He can see the other’s gaze harden, but it passes the moment Felix scouts closer, resisting his head on Dimitri’s shoulder and letting him drape the cape over him. It’s surprisingly warm.

Their peace doesn’t last long however, as they both hear the sound of heavy steps getting closer.

Dimitri expected Felix to push him away, maybe get up and leave him – he remembers how much he didn’t want to be seen with him during their school years – but the other doesn’t move.

Upon closer inspection, his eyes are closed; could he be asleep? And should Dimitri wake him up?

Before he can decide what to do he sees Sylvain walk towards them, his usual cheerful expression on his face.

He stops a couple of steps away from Dimitri, and he seems amused by what he’s seeing.

“Awn, is little Felix asleep over there?”

“Shut you mouth”, comes the reply from a very much awake Felix. So he decided to stay like this even if he knew someone was coming. Dimitri doesn’t know why, but this notion alone is enough for him to feel a warmth that he hasn’t felt in a very long time.

He can feel his lips move up, and he smiles; it’s a weird smile since it’s been a while since he felt anything resembling mirth, but it’s a smile nonetheless.

He then lifts the other end of the cape, on his left. He doesn’t need to say anything as Sylvain understands immediately what he’s asking.

“I don’t know… I’m not as tiny as our friend over here”, he says, to which of course Felix tells him to _shut up or else_.

“… But I wouldn’t want to refuse you”, Sylvain continues as he moves to get to the other two.

Like Felix, he gets covered by the cape, and now Dimitri notices, there isn’t a hint of fear in his gaze, something that makes him immeasurably happy.

They make an unlikely group, all three of them. In a way, they’ve all been broken and they've all dealt with it differently.

Sylvain likes to act like a fool, to pretend to be fine; Felix closes himself to the world, getting stronger so that he may protect what is dear to him and Dimitri… and Dimitri lets the grief take over him, commanding him and directing his rage to those who oppose him without mercy.

Will they be alright in the end or will they succumb?

Dimitri has no idea, nobody has.

However, there’s comfort in being close to people like them, there’s comfort in knowing that they are not alone, because they aren’t.

They’ll keep fighting until the end for a happier future to live together.


End file.
